Murder, He Wrote
by LostInTheDreams
Summary: Conan Edogawa is thought by some to be a death magnet but is there a reason for that? And why does he always have a notebook with him? When someone looks too closely will Conan keep his secret, or will he be forced to add another name to his Death Note?


**AN** : Obviously a slight crossover with Death Note _, but since I use none of the characters from Death Note_ and only mention the notebook, I'm not calling it a crossover.

* * *

 **Murder, He Wrote**

...

"This world is rotten, and those who are making it rot deserve to die. Someone has to do it, so why not me? Even if it means sacrificing my own mind and soul, it's worth it. Because the world... can't go on like this. I wonder... what if someone else had picked up this notebook?" – _Light, Death Note_

…

Conan had been worried. His skills had been waning for some time now when it came to the common rationality of the normal person. The kidnapping last week had made him wary of trusting any of the three suspects that he'd discovered. The ten-year-old girl was easy enough to find after he tried. and she had to give him the last piece for him to shove the police in the right direction.

The five people that were staying in nearby rooms around his own were all named to him. He loved that, in Japan, people introduced themselves without worrying about the consequences. Of course most people didn't have to worry about this. There would be no reason to worry. That was, of course, as long as telling someone your name didn't get you killed. Too bad that wasn't the case where he was concerned. It was a good thing no one looked at the body count.

After all, who would ever accuse the seven-year-old kid of killing someone because they knew their name?

Conan took out the notebook, his murder weapon of the past year so far. Of course he never considered it as such. It was a means to an end. If a couple dozen people had to die for him to save thousands, well, that wasn't such a hard decision.

He wasn't sure many people would agree with him. He wasn't sure how much he believed it himself.

Writing down the name of the 32-year-old unfaithful husband wasn't such a hard job. It was very easy to choose him as the next victim. He had no relatives and he had angered most of the household through misdeeds and stolen items. He wasn't sure which one of the family members would kill the man with the knife that he had specified but that's where the notebook came in. It wasn't as if he was making anyone a killer by doing this. At least, that's what he came to believe. After all, it could never be that easy to make someone kill someone else. They had a have motive and intent already.

Right?

Conan was sure if anyone had asked him outright he wasn't sure if he could give a good enough reason for what he was doing. He needed to make sure the men in black were taken down, and to do that he needed a certain sleeping sleuth to start getting noticed. If he had at least some clientele this wouldn't have been necessary.

And the codenames…. It was like they knew that someone out there was after them. Of course all the real names he gotten so far from that group are undercover agents and he wasn't willing to make that step over the line to use them. At least, not yet.

Conan quickly hid the book as Hattori came into the room. This was of course supposed to be a vacation that the old man had won through a sweepstakes lottery. He had been to enough Hot Springs to last a lifetime.

"Hey, Kudo. They got mixed baths here. Did you hear the screaming? I thought someone died," Hattori snickered, bending down so that only he could hear. "I bet the old man didn't feel so lucky that he walked in on his daughter."

Conan sighed. Of course the old man would have walked in on Ran. He could only guess that the damage.

"He will never change. It might be better that he walked in on her and not some unsuspecting woman. Ran tends to go overboard when she feels her father is getting close to." Conan looked around the inn. There weren't that many other guests, so the odds of him walking in on another woman were slim as it was.

"Yeah I know, still it is pretty funny." Hattori straightened himself up. "Kazuha wants to go hit the springs herself. Since she's going in there and I don't want to risk walking in on her I don't have any other plans. What do you say we check out the grounds?"

That wasn't such a bad idea. He didn't want to be around when the man died. That would make the case far too easy and he had already made sure to put down that the man would leave a final message that pointed to his killer. It wasn't as if he would know any better than Hattori who the killer would be.

Hattori stretched out his arms, the two of them looking a stark contrast to the rest of the guests who were all wearing kimonos. He would make sure to get into the baths himself once the girls were done. He stuck out too much.

The Hot Springs didn't have much of a ground surrounding them. There were few trees where the outskirts of the wilderness attempted to stake some claim, though man had gallantly fought off the attack. Steam came out from the back and he could hear some quiet voices, indistinct except for their female characteristics.

"So hey… Kudo, everything's been too quiet on your end. I keep coming to you with cases but you never call me. You know I'm here for you if you need me."

Conan shook his head and looked down at the ground as they continue to walk. "I know. I haven't really found anything new. Amuro Tooru, unfortunately was another dead end. It doesn't look like he's going to do anything against me now, so for now I'm going to leave things as they are."

Hattori shook his head. "Yeah, I know. I can't do anything to help with that either. You always call me after everything has already happened." He stopped, putting a hand on top of Conan's head. "And I don't think that's ever going to change. You know, sometimes you can be too stubborn for your own good."

Conan had a smile at that. "Right back at you."

Hattori laughed. It broke the silence of the still night air. "I guess you got me there. So, you're going to hide in the spotlight and do everything well I hide in the shadows and do nothing. You know how little sense that makes?"

"It makes sense to me. I know what I'm doing and you know I know what I'm doing. The more people there are, the more likely I am to be found out. You know statistics as well as I do. You also know if there's something I know you can do then I'll ask you. I want to take these guys down." There was a steel to his words. Conan wasn't sure it had always been there but he knew for sure it was now. Maybe he was just sick of seeing too many bodies. He gotten the old man fame and recognition and had nothing to show for it except for a bunch of dead ends. Fed up didn't even cover half of it.

"Hey, hey. Calm down. Can't say I know how you feel. I'm here for you if you need me. I'm also here if you don't need me and just want to vent. People seem to like yelling at me." Hattori snickered. "You and my dad can make a day of it."

Conan calmed down at that. He knew it wasn't Hattori's fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. The world was just a messed up place. Maybe that's why he had the notebook. He could take them down with it. He could take anybody down with that. It just took some time and planning and even a kid would be able to see them fall. He didn't usually lose his temper like this.

"I guess some stress just built up. I'm fine now." Conan looked around at the scenery again. The wind rushed through the trees – a quiet underlining noise that would hopefully block out any of the gruesomeness from inside. The scent of wildflowers and water reached his nose. There were no animals making their calls under the moonlit night. "It's getting late."

Hattori shrugged. "Yeah, but we got here pretty late too. I'm sure it's not past nine or ten." He laughed. "Why, past your bedtime?"

"You are one to talk. Isn't Kazuha going to wonder where you've gone to?"

Hattori scoffed. "She's a big girl. She can take care of herself." He looked around though, as if she was watching from somewhere in the shadows. "But maybe you're right. We can always look around more tomorrow."

Conan wasn't sure how much sleep either of them were going to get. He looked around himself, rubbing one of his eyes. They hadn't gotten far. They could easily get back in under five minutes. "I know Ran invited Kazuha but I don't remember having an extra ticket. Why did you decide to come along?"

"Why wouldn't I? Kazuha doesn't go anywhere without me anyway. I'm sure she wanted me here. It's not like I'm getting in the way or anything and this is not a case, the old man's got nothing against it. Do you? You seem to be acting kind of weird. You sure nothings wrong?"

"No, nothings wrong." Conan didn't think there was anyway. He didn't know what they were to do. Amuro had no solid ties with him yet, and Akai was still in hiding. Kir could only give out little messages and anything they learned on the actual members was through the three of them. "I'll get a lead on them sooner or later."

"Of course you will. That's all you were worried about?" Hattori picked him up without his consent, throwing him over his shoulders. "I haven't ever seen anyone get the best of you yet, but I'm not including yours truly."

Conan fumbled around, trying to hold on. He heard the sound of paper hitting the floor and turned to see the notebook lying on the sidewalk where he had just been. He struggled, trying to get down and knowing the height wouldn't hinder him. "Hey, let me down!"

Hattori didn't have much choice in the matter. One of his hands slipped, not expecting Conan to struggle so hard. Conan used that slip to out of the other hold, then down onto the ground, hurriedly trying to stuff it back under his shirt.

"Hey, what was all of that about?" Hattori rubbed the side of his head were Conan had accidentally kicked him. "You're acting like somebody's dying. What did you drop?"

"It's nothing. Nothing for you anyway. It's personal." Conan wasn't sure how well Hattori treated anything that was 'personal' to someone else. He was sure he did better than his own treatment of personal property. He'd call it the detective bug and make sure the notebook was hidden extra well tonight.

"I still say you're acting kind of weird. You know what? Just what have you gotten yourself into you?" Hattori picked him up, ignoring the fact that he did not want it. Conan tried his best to hold onto the book through the thin material of his shirt. Hattori though was simply too big and too strong to hold off. That didn't mean he didn't try his best, leaving claw marks on his friends skin anywhere that he could reach.

He was put down, hearing Hattori swear under his breath as he took out the notebook, looking it over himself.

The dark skinned detective raised an eyebrow. "You are trying to keep a notebook from me? Is it that important?" That teen opened the book, the first few pages covered in Conan's spastic writing as he tried to understand what weapon he now held in his hand. That had been so long ago Conan hadn't even seen his writing for himself in some time. He couldn't even recall what he had put.

"Hey… Kudo, what is this?"

There was a long silence between the two teens that had known each other for the past year. Just as Hattori had, Conan had gotten to know quite a bit about his friend. The fact was they shared a lot of similar beliefs.

"Just notes." Conan hoped he could get off with that excuse. There wasn't much else he could say about it except for the truth, and Hattori didn't need to know that.

"Notes, huh? Kind of looks like you're writing some sick murder mystery book," he spoke as he turned the pages. Conan tried to reach up and take back the book from him.

"Come on, Hattori, it's mine. Give it back. You're acting like some playground bully." Conan knew there wasn't much she could say to appeal to the other teen's less curious side, other than making him feel that he was really bullying the smaller child. In a way he kind of was.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll give it back to you in a second." Hattori continued to flip through the pages, his expression growing more and more serious as he went through the sheets of paper. "Hey, were you guessing at the time these all happened or something? I remember this one." He pointed to a passage that Conan could not see from his height. "This was that one on the boat, the one I never got to solve because I was attacked. Geez, it looks like you wrote down almost every murder you came across."

"No," Conan sighed. "Not every." There were few he hadn't written down because there were few that he had to solve without the notebook. His first few cases were among those, when the old man actually had some clientele. He still wasn't sure how he was getting out of this but he was going to let Hattori come to his own conclusions. He couldn't reach the book and it wasn't as if he could come up with a better lie than he already had.

Hattori continue to look through the book, going over individual cases that he seemed to recognize. He hadn't written much down other than who died and how they died. He'd never written down the murderer. Conan wasn't sure how Hattori was going to take that or what conclusions he would come to, but he let him continue to read. As long as he didn't take the notebook away he didn't mind.

"Kudo… What is this really? This doesn't seem like some Chronicle about the murders you've come across. This kind of looks like some documentation but…" Hattori looked down at him, not saying what he was really thinking. Conan knew all too well where his thoughts are gone. This seemed like the kind of record that killer would keep about his victims. And of course seem that way, that's what it was.

He probably should've ripped out and burned the pages as he used them. He had thought about it once or twice but then came to the conclusion that he probably wanted to know who had died and where if it ever came up again. That, or maybe he didn't want the people to be forgotten. He knew he had played a very small role in their deaths himself. Maybe it was some form of personal remembrance.

Conan still had nothing to say about Hattori's silent accusations. Since Conan had said nothing he reached up once more for the book. "Can I have it back now?"

"No." Hattori held the book up too high for Conan to retrieve it. "Think I'm keeping this. I don't know what you're doing with it, or why you have something written out like this, but I am going to find out. I don't care if you want me to or not this time."

Conan sighed, of course Hattori wouldn't understand. There were so much he didn't understand and so much more that he couldn't. Conan, himself, didn't understand a lot of it as it was. He'd be no good at explaining himself when he didn't even understand himself.

But the book was important, very important. He couldn't let Hattori keep it or find out what its purpose was. He needed to learn about those men in black and he'd do anything in his power to do it. If they were left to rest as they were now thousands, if not more, would die. Conan had gotten close as it was already, and all with the help of the notebook. He just needed a few more months, a little more time.

"Fine then," Conan relented. He made sure he didn't follow after Hattori when he'd taken a few steps back towards the Hot Springs. "Let's talk, but not here. Someone might overhear us." Conan started in the opposite direction, towards the small forest on the outskirts of the springs.

He didn't like the feeling that came over him. It felt like Hattori held his life in his hands and it didn't get past him that he felt very much like a criminal with the detective hot on his tail. It wasn't like that though, it really wasn't. There were circumstances and they meant everything in this case.

He and Hattori stopped a short distance off, Conan making sure nobody had followed them or were in the surrounding area. Any tracks that were left here by any guests were long since faded. He faced off with the other detective.

"So what is it you really wanted to ask me about that notebook?" Conan stated boldly, the outcome of this conversation weighing heavily on his heart.

"It looks like a murderer, keeping track of his victims." Hattori waved the book around a little in the air. "And you know that as well as I do. Why would you keep something like this on you? It's not like…"

"It's not like I killed them?" Conan shook his head. "No, I didn't. All I did was write their names down and the time, and the means, and sometimes where." His blue eyes looked up to meet teal. "I never raised a hand against them or anyone unless my life was at stake. You know that."

"Yeah, but still this isn't something that anyone would normally carry around with them. It's kind of sick, Kudo. What if someone besides me had found it? I still don't understand why you would write something like this down, and repeatedly."

"It's really hard to explain, Hattori." And it was. Conan still had little idea what he was supposed to be saying right now. It wasn't as if the detective said that he killed anybody, and that he hadn't really killed anybody anyway. The book had done all the work. The unknown people he had not named had done the rest.

"Then start at the beginning. When did you start doing this?" Hattori looked like he was really concerned about him and Conan felt the same. He probably had reason to be concerned about him. He wasn't too sure about his own mental health at this point, but there is nothing he could do about it and his end goal was still in sight.

"I don't know," Conan answered honestly. "You have to look back at the notebook. I'm guessing it was sometime just before I met you the first time though. I'm pretty sure I had it back then." And it _was_ sometime before he had met Hattori. He had it back before he was even Conan. He just didn't know when that was. It couldn't have been that long before.

"Okay." Hattori seemed happy that he had answered at all. Conan was still debating ending this conversation. He could get the notebook back easily enough. "So, can you tell me why you're doing this? This isn't normal."

"No, it's not. I know that. Can I blame it on my father being a writer?" Conan wasn't sure he was going to get away with that. It was the truth his father was a writer, but that was still little reason to keep documentation of all the people that he'd been around that have been killed.

"What's that have to do with any of this?"

"I can't always remember what happened or where it took place or why. I'm sure keeping any newspaper articles on the death would be even more disturbing. As a detective, surely you can understand that I want something to recall all the cases, something that I can keep with me."

"Yeah, I am a detective and I can kind of understand, but not with you." Hattori's eyes had gone from steel to soft at some point in the conversation though Conan wasn't sure when. "You've never forgotten anything in your life, have you?"

Conan let out a quiet, steady breath as he closed his eyes for a moment and opened them once more. "Probably not."

"So why this? You still haven't given me a good reason. You must have one, if you hang onto this around the old man and that girl of yours. There is no way you would let her see this, which means you're risking it anyway and it's something really important. It's not as if you would need to take this with you on every case. You could always write in and when you got back to the house. So tell me, just what's going on? I'm still not letting it go."

"Fine," Conan spoke in a defeated voice. There was nothing more he could do now. Hattori was the most stubborn person he had ever met and there was no way he was getting away with anything less than the truth. "Sit down." Conan sat down himself, knowing he would rather have the teen sitting down as well. It would slow him down at least.

Hattori found himself a spot in the grass, the woods around them darkening and the sound of the nightlife coming alive slowly.

"Let's start out with a story. There's a teenage boy, a well-known detective with little reason to stray from the life he's known. One day he finds this strange book. He thinks nothing of it and sets it inside his desk where he then forgets about it for quite some time. Now let's say something happens and it changes his life." Conan knew the story, as did Hattori, so he wasn't going to add in any more details. The other teen didn't interrupt or say anything, just nodding his head in understanding.

"Soon after this happened he found himself in a situation he never thought he would be in. He no longer had his contacts to rely on and anything he said held little sway in the eyes of others. He went back to his house he had not been allowed at, to retrieve some of these items. There he grabbed the notebook, the forgotten piece of black leather and paper that he almost wished had stayed forgotten.

At first it was just used it to write down notes, like any other notebook. What reason would he have to write down anything else? Then, early on, when he only experienced a few cases with his new… shortcomings, he wrote down a man's name to do a background check on. He was sure he'd been involved with more than just murder, and if he hadn't, that would be fine as well. He just wanted to be sure and maybe a personal vendetta was involved as well. His name was Yutaka Abe, a man who had burned another to death and had no qualms about it. The next day the news revealed that the man, after being taken to jail, had died. The news didn't say why and the boy was curious and went himself, trying to figure out what had happened.

It was a heart attack, or so it seemed. He was a little young and had no previous heart conditions, so it was strange. I'm sorry to say that I wasn't as fast to catch on as I should've been. I could never believe something so strange if I didn't see it for myself, and even that took too long to happen." Conan pointed up to the book still in Hattori's hands. "I found out soon after that anybody's name I wrote down, even if just for my notes, would wind up dead the same day. Strange, right? How could a book do something like that? I certainly didn't believe it and it took too long for me to notice it. Far too many criminals and even a few innocents are on its first pages."

Hattori once more took the book, going back to the first couple pages. Conan knew they would reflect what he had just said. After looking them over for some time Hattori closed the book. He laid it down on one leg and folded the other upward, resting an arm on it. "I don't get. You're not lying to me though. That can't be the truth."

"I didn't think it was either. It sounds like some bad science fiction story. I have to admit, I really wanted to try it out. So I did. I didn't think anything would really happen. The old man wasn't getting any cases and I had nothing else to do." Conan eyed the book more, afraid of what Hattori would do with it. It was his greatest weapon against them." I have reason now to believe that it works. I'm sorry, Hattori. I know you think I'm some great guy but even I am not perfect. I need that book. I need it to find them, and when I do, I can finally bring them down. Please give it back."

"You think after all that that I would give it back to you? Are you crazy?" Hattori stood up, holding the book to himself. He made sure it never went low enough for Conan to grab. "Truth or not, this is crazy. I'm not giving this back to you."

Conan shook his head. "Hattori, give it back. I'm not playing around."

"Neither am I."

There wasn't much choice in the matter. Conan took out his watch, an extra layer added to the underside of it. There wasn't much he had to tweak, since the dart already took up a good portion of the lower section of the watch. "Hattori, I said I'm not playing around." He could always dart him. The teen wouldn't be out very long. He wasn't sure if he could keep the book hidden from him though.

"Putting me to sleep won't do a thing." Hattori looked over at the watch. He already knew the features of most of Conan's gadgets.

It wasn't as if the teen could dodge the dart. What really worried Conan was that he wouldn't be able to lose Hattori. If he didn't he wasn't sure what the other teen would do to get him to stop. Telling Ran all about him would be a good way to get at him, and not do any harm aside from putting her in danger, the same danger Hattori was already in. Considering the teen didn't feel that his life was at risk, putting another in the same situation would likely not be much of a jump.

"Don't make me do something I'll regret." Conan lowered the watch, the threat of the dart gone and now a simple piece of paper all that remained in his fingers. He took out a pen from his back pocket. "I don't want to see you die too. There are other ways. You must not have fully understood me. Let me explain again and I'm sure you'll see things the same way I do, after all we are very similar. If you could save thousands of people while giving up the lives of a few dozen, wouldn't you do it?"

The softness in his eyes had changed. It was still there, still a weakness that the boy was showing off, but now there were large amounts of hurt there as well. He would've said the boy was ready to cry if Conan had ever seen Hattori do such a thing. "No," Hattori said quietly. "I wouldn't and you know why? A good friend of mine once taught me that, if I had the chance to save lives, that I should never waste it. Everyone has a right to life, the good and the bad. My friend taught me that no amount of hatred could ever change this fact. He told me there was no winning or losing, but that there is only one truth." Hattori touched the notebook, but his eyes never left Conan. "And there's only one truth I see here."

Conan would not fight that statement or, more accurately, he could not. Hattori was right. He knew he was right and was aware of these facts long before now. He had simply come to accept that this was the way things had to be. That wasn't going to change now.

"I'm sorry, Hattori. I really am. I never wanted to do this but I know how you are. I can't say that I would be acting any differently if positions were reversed. I can't say if I would've understood these motives from the outside or not. All I know is that they have to be stopped and now you are standing in the way of that." Hattori was too young to use the default death on him without raising suspicion. He wrote two lines down after his name, the paper unable to hold more. "I'm really sorry. It will be painless though, I promise."

Hattori saw what he had done, the pieces only falling together after the fact – far too late to stop anything. "Kudo, I wish there was some way I could help you. You really need help, even if you won't admit it to yourself."

"I know." Conan crushed the piece of paper in his hand. "Maybe after all this is over. Right now I don't know how many others would get as close as I have. Goodbye, Hattori."

He wasn't sure if Hattori even believed that he would die. The other teen had a tear fall down his right cheek though. Soon after the emotion had started to overwhelm him, it was gone, like a storybook closed half way with no real ending. Hattori set the notebook down, never looking at him as he walked away. Conan had never wanted to see death upfront, not if there was a way around it. Hattori's was no different.

Conan retrieved the notebook, going back to the springs. He doubted that hanging himself was as painless as he made it sound. Hopefully the notebook had made Hattori as unaware as possible of what was going on. That was what the notebook did. It made people act so unlike themselves that there was no way that any of the people he had killed directly in this fashion could be blamed for their crimes. The others, the ones he didn't name directly that became murderers, could have done so in their own fashion. He had no trouble sending those to jail. Hattori was now joining Miyano Akemi, and all the other people that he had messed up on. Hopefully, when all this was over, they could forgive him.

Conan knew he could never forgive himself.


End file.
